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Complete
So I lift my eyes to You, Lord
In Your strength will I break through, Lord
Touch me now, let Your love fall down on me
I know Your love dispels all my fears
Through the storm I will walk on, Lord
And by faith I will walk on, Lord
Then I'll see, beyond my calvary one day
And I will be complete in You.
Parachute Band
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
took this from the book "i kissed dating goodbye"
its a dream the author, Joshua Harris, had.
In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index-card files.
They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near to the wall of giels, the first to catch my attention was "Girls I have liked". I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that i recognized the names written.
And then, I suddenly knew exactly where i was. This lifeless room was a crude catalog of my life. Here were written actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match.
The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense i often looked over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.
After seeing many cards, such as "lustful thoughts", "things i have muttered under my breath at my parents", "vulgarities i have said", I felt an animal rage. Noone must ever see these cards! I tried to tear each file; when i failed i took out a random card and tried tearing it. It was hard as steel. Nothing could have been torn.
Then, i saw one file. 'People i have shared the Gospel with" The file was shinier than the rest. I opened the file and counted the cards.
And then the tears came. i began to weep. Sobs so deep that the hurt started my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out in shame.
Then, I saw him. Oh no, not him. anyone but Jesus.
I watched helplessly as he began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch his response. And in the moments that i could bring myself to see his face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.
Finally he turned and looked at me. There was pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn;t anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. he walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didnt say a word. He just cried with me.
Then He got up and walked back to the wall of the files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file, and one by one, began to sign his name over mine.
"No!' i shouted, rushing to Him. All i could say was no,no, as i pulled the cards from Him. His name was written, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written in blood.
He gently took the card back, and smiled a sad smile, and continued signing. I then heard him close the last file, and said "It is finished".
I stood up and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on the foor. There were still cards to be written.
i mArcused! at 5:54 AM
me
marcusSIA
the past
The past, I have left it at the foot of the cross and have moved on.
entries;
profile.
shouts.
link.
past.
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